


Oh the Humanity

by Shinigamibutter



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Ace Changkyun, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Asexuality, Bittersweet Ending, Dolphins, Eventual Relationships, Junk, Love at First Sight, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, dash of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-01-04 15:45:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18346721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinigamibutter/pseuds/Shinigamibutter
Summary: Changkyun had been a curious merman blessed with the happiness of being content at sea. That was until he'd been cursed to land by an affliction of legends. Now all he wants is to return to the sea.Or at least that had been all he wanted, he isn’t so sure now after a chance encounter with love.





	1. Prologue: Witch Woman

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dirtyretro](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirtyretro/gifts).



> Okay so hear me out, I have not decided on any ships for this fic yet. That said I do know where I'm going...probably? This is only the prologue and I'll be honest with you I'm making shit up as I go along again. YAY! 
> 
> I'll..uh tag ahead like always. 
> 
> Ya'll can thank @dirtyretro for this.

“You haven’t always been human.” The words were quiet, they were the first words the woman had spoken since Changkyun had sat down before her, a full minute ago. During that whole time she’d stared at him with unsettlingly blind eyes. But her words had startled him. Not because they weren’t true, but because they were. Which made her the second in a long, long, long line of witch women that had ever been right. “I see water, so much water. Drowning, can’t breathe. Can’t breathe.” 

Changkyun could feel the emotions in her voice, like a spell they carried him away. Out to sea, back home. They felt like they crashed into his chest as she went on her hands grabbing at her neck the same way he’d grabbed at his gills. It felt like he was back in that moment, the moment that had changed everything. Her emotions, her words, her actions took him back to the moment that he’d stopped being who he was and become human. 

It had been awful, one moment he’d been swimming along enjoying the discovery of the crystal jellyfish, a legend, a myth, a species that for so long had been nothing but a fairytale. Yet he’d found them. On accident, on purpose it no longer mattered as he’d gazed at them. Enchanted by the shifting of their colors, so many it was hard to count them. In that moment everything had felt complete. Then in the next everything had come crashing down, just like the witch woman’s words. Still repeating in the background as he fell further into his memory.

Everything had happened so fast, yet it had felt like a lifetime. He’d felt the sting on his tail, a rare occurrence on its own as he was resistant to stings. Usually they felt like little more than a simple fish brushing past. Not this one, no not this one. Instead it had felt like a hundred stings, pricking higher and higher from where it had originated. One second it was a distraction and the next it was as if he was burning from the inside. He couldn’t take in the oxygen he needed. Grabbing for his gills he found none. A silent but very real scream had torn from his throat as he felt his tail splitting, tearing, ripping apart. 

Suddenly the memory was gone, the feeling remained. The terror, the pain. His legs ached in a way they hadn’t since they’d newly formed and his lungs burned. Gulping air he forced himself to breathe the human way, the worst way. Then it was over. He was sitting in the same office he’d come in. Plain, unadorned, and off white. The woman before him seemed to be staring at him still, her hands folded in her lap. Harmless. If not for the scratches on her neck he might have thought nothing had happened. 

“I know how you can return to what you once were.” Changkyun found himself on the edge of his seat, his hands on the desk that separated him from the witch woman. His fingers brushing the name plate he’d spent zero time looking at. It read Monica but she hadn’t asked that he call her by name, other than a brief hello she hadn’t said anything at all. Except her vision. Except the truth. 

“How?” The word felt breathless, he supposed he was after feeling like he’d been drowning all over again. Even if it had been so long ago now. So many lifetimes ago it felt like. Yet, it was all one. The years mashed together by his journey to become human, or at least human enough to mostly pass for one. The first witch woman who had seen what he was, who he had been, had shown him how. For in that that time neither of them were welcome among the walking apes. And even if he were welcome now, he didn’t want to be among them. He wanted to go back, to be free in the seas once more. 

Monica looked at him, this time slowly scanning her eyes up and down his body, or what she could see of it over the desk. He got the feeling that it wasn’t really in her way. “A merman cursed by the jellyfish.” She shook her head and sighed. “The only way to break the curse is to eat of merflesh, a scale will do.” She shook her head again lowering it, and he watched as her loose black hair fell into her eyes, he could see her blonde roots now as she continued to shake it. As if she was shaking off another trance. 

He swallowed. Cannibalism. It was a rough task to ask of himself but he wanted to return, it was all he wanted. “Do you know where I might find any of the merpeople?” The question hurt his heart. It had been so long since he’d been anywhere near a real sea, ocean, river, or even a lake. Just looking at them knowing he couldn’t go where he wanted to hurt too much. Which meant he hadn’t seen any of his people in a very long time. Yet the call to be among them was as strong as ever. 

“I don’t know.” Monica’s voice was soft, hesitant as if there was more. He waited, holding his breath knowing it would be minutes before he needed to breathe again. After all, he wasn’t quite human. Just like her. “I can tell you this much, today you will meet someone, someones that might change your mind.” She shook her head again revealing her face this time as her head rose. Her eyes were normal now, no longer could he feel the blind all seeing power looking at him. Now they were just brown. “I can’t tell you anymore.”

Changkyun nodded, he’d expected as much now that he’d seen her eyes. He knew how witch women worked. They weren’t able to give whole answers. It was against the universe or something. Still she’d given him more than he’d ever had before. “Can I come again?” She only nodded and waved him away, shooing him out the door without a word just a displacement of air. He didn’t fight her on it, checking the time he knew there wasn’t enough of it to do so anyway. He was going to be late for his first day at this rate. 

As he paid he couldn’t stop thinking about the last thing she’d said. He’d meet someone. He wondered if it had anything to do with his new job, it was related to his past in a sense. It was ironic really. A former merman pretending to be a merman for money. He chuckled darkly to himself as he paid and left. Whoever he was going to meet he was certain nothing would change, nothing had changed in hundreds of years so far. What could one person, or even several do to change his mind?


	2. Minhyuk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be something of a ride. But I've decided the ship we're on. It might go a bit faster than I thought but as long as we're having fun who cares?

Changkyun pondered on the information the witch woman, Monica had given him as he sat in the subway. He found himself looking at everyone around him differently. It was a new city and none of them were familiar to begin with. Nothing about the city was familiar except the inside of his flat and the aquarium he’d gotten work at. Though that was because he’d gone a few times to chat up the dolphins who resided there. It had been a long time since he’d been able to get work in an aquarium. Part of the problem was faking his death so many times. 

He was looking forward to the work, as it meant swimming all day. An activity he’d never tire of, and the bonus was he got to swim in a tail. If there was one thing he liked about humans it was their inventiveness of bringing to life things that they weren’t sure existed. Though he knew some of them did, like the merpeople. Either way their desires brought him closer to being himself again than he’d been in a very long time. Though he supposed that was in a way his fault. But it was hard trying to be human. 

Something it was notoriously hard to be when entering an aquarium was human. Because he could hear the fish, the turtles, and the various other sea life calling to him as if beckoning him home. Which was the reason he did his best to work in marine biology whenever the chance arose. While of course keeping his name small, and working through a doctorate in the appropriate steps. The witch woman who’d helped him humanize had seen to that and ensuring he knew how to go about the steps on his own. This was the first time he’d had to since she’d died. 

When he wasn’t thinking about her there was nothing but as soon as he thought of all her help and her smiling face there was a pang in his chest. In a way she had been like a mother to him. In other ways she’d been a leash, blinding him to the joys that sometimes came with being human. Not that he wanted any of them. Instead he’d spent a lonely life like she had, seeing only her and her customers when he wasn’t at work and keeping everyone at an arm’s distance. After all, what was the point if they were all going to die before him anyway?

He was certain he’d able to do the same here, no matter what Monica, the witch woman from that morning said. He steeled himself for just that as he entered this new aquarium. He’d been here 'officially' before, for an interview and one walk through. It had been his least favorite setup by far but it was the only one anywhere near that had mermaid swimming openings. They were a highly coveted position and more than once it had taken a little bit of black magic to find such a job. None had been required this time, but he knew what to do if it were next time. 

After all, it wasn’t as if he’d been able to amass a fortune while providing for himself and the witch woman hadn’t brought in all that much either. Which meant he needed a job, even if it meant working here. Where there were jellyfish around every corner it seemed, a constant reminder of the bestow-er of his curse. If it weren’t him he might have found it laughable. But it was him, and it had been just his bad luck for the legends, no matter how far fetched, to be true.

There were things to look forward to here and he could hear some of them as he approached the area he’d be working. At least here there were dolphins, many dolphins and they were nice. As a bonus his job was to swim with them. Well, them and a few other merpeople wannabe, swimmers. He’d yet to see anyone who truly got along with the dolphins as well as they thought they did or were as good at swimming with a tail as he was. Granted he knew he was a true merman and they couldn’t possibly speak dolphin. Still, he hadn’t met his coworkers and they might surprise him.

If he were being honest with himself he hoped they would. Secretly he’d always hoped that he’d run into another of the merpeople cursed like him. He couldn’t be alone, he was sure of it. And when he turned the corner to the tank he’d be swimming in he felt his breath catch. There was a man already swimming in there, his hair black as the night and his complexion tan and smooth. Yet, unlike any other human, which he knew him to be, he swam like a merman. The fake tail he was wearing was as bright as his hair was dark. Making for an interesting combination. 

Dolphins were swimming around him, welcoming him to swim with them. Praising his grace in the water. It took him a whole minute to realize there were others even present. A short male with an aura around him that screamed ‘I mean business’ and next to him a taller male who looked unphased by the other. As if they were so used to one another they didn’t even need to look at each other before turning as one. A trait he’d only seen in the humans who were bonded, or might as well have been. He got the feeling these two fell in the later category as they smiled at him.

“Are you Changkyun?” The taller one asked, his shoulders relaxing even further in a way that Changkyun wouldn’t have thought possible at his nod of affirmation. “I’m Shownu the owner and this,” He motioned to the shorter male whose cheeks were a little puffed out and tinting even before the words left his mouth. “Is my partner and your manager Kihyun.” The words were followed by a warm smile that told Changkyun this Shownu had no idea what he was doing to Kihyun.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Kihyun’s own greeting was stiff but Changkyun found himself looking away anyway at hearing a splash in the water. The human had surfaced and whatever he’d been expecting it wasn’t the near punch in the lungs it felt like. He looked like he swam, perfect and like one of his own. Even though he knew he wasn’t. “That’s Minhyuk.” Kihyun’s voice dragged him back into the moment and he felt his cheeks flushing. He’d never reacted to a human like that before. 

Ignoring the smug smile on the manager’s lips Changkyun forced his eyes to him. He couldn’t help noticing the still so obvious attraction he had towards the owner. It was something that the witch woman had told him was part of his heritage, that it wasn’t something humans could pick up on. It was also something she’d cautioned him to never mention. For a split second he wondered if doing so would wipe the smug smile off Kihyun’s face. Then he realized the softness directed at him, the knowing look at him when Minhyuk approached the side. Maybe in this the witch woman had been wrong. 

“Did you bring your tail?” Kihyun asked directing Changkyun’s attention back to him only to cause him to sigh when he shook his head. He didn’t actually own one quite as fancy as the one Minhyuk was wearing. And that bothered him. He wanted to look like a good match. “Then you can use my old one. I was a swimmer at the beginning with the owner here.” There was a story there and Changkyun could feel it, but he couldn’t focus. Minhyuk was smiling at him and the dolphins were surrounding him laughing. 

They knew of course. He knew they knew but he still forced himself to go through the motions there would be plenty of time to ogle Minhyuk later. Probably. Or he hoped so. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if there wasn’t. In the back of his mind he remembered Monica’s words and wondered if this was the someone. But he also recalled she’d said someones. And he wasn’t sure how there could be anyone more bewitching than Minhyuk. Whose laugh followed them back to the changing room, a dolphin playfully rubbing his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All thoughts welcomed.
> 
> Also I might take this down later. It already sort of stresses me out. *shrug*


	3. Jooheon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must say this story wears me out. Not like I don't like it, I do. I just can't update and work on it as regularly as others. That said it will be wrapping up soon. I project maybe 5-6 chapters max. 
> 
> I've added a few tags, but they might change.

“I speak dolphin.” Those were the first words Minhyuk had said to him and Changkyun had struggled not to snort the water he’d just entered. He was supposed to be getting himself acquainted with the dolphins himself before their first show time. Which had still been an hour and some odd off. It didn’t matter because he’d be swimming with the dark haired beauty and that was everything he’d ever wanted since he’d first laid eyes on him. Well, that had been everything he’d wanted. Then just as suddenly as he’d met Minhyuk he met more of the staff. 

There was no instant reaction like there was with Minhyuk, but a certain type of comardiare when he met Hyungwon. He looked like the turtles he worked with and Changkyun couldn’t help finding that endearing. But not quite in the same way he’d caught a customer, not quite customer named Wonho feeling. The dolphins had a lot to say about them too. Not quite as much as they said about Minhyuk, and how much they adored him. It was something they couldn’t stop chattering about before, during, and after the show.

“Let me hear it.” Changkyun blurted out as he stripped out of the borrowed tail, his eyes trying to remain as focused as his thoughts. This was only his first time trying to become close to someone else there was no way he was going to fuck this up. Probably. But the look Minhyuk was giving him said otherwise. He realized there was no context and almost hit his head against his assigned locker. “Your dolphin, you said you speak it.” The realization of he what meant was instantaneous, and formed into a bright smile on Minhyuk’s face.

It made Changkyun's heart skip and suddenly start pounding. An altogether foreign feeling, but he'd heard about it, read about it, and in a way longed for it. It was a feeling that even in his long, long life he'd never experienced. Partly he was sure the witch woman who took him in was to blame. While the rest was a lack of mermaid interaction combined with a natural disinclination to humans and their ways. As even when he did settle into human's lives it was temporary. 

Always temporary, he reminded himself willing his heart to calm down as it sped up more at the small flush tracing its way across perfect cheeks. He had the sudden urge to press his lips there, to suck up the color from his cheeks and taste it. To delve into the emotional pit that was honest embarrassment. Of course he wouldn't, the witch had told him it wasn't very humanlike to devour colors nor emotions. He'd only done it once on land, the human hadn't fared well. And he wanted Minhyuk to fare well. 

The high shriek that followed shortly after the color did not hurt his ears, unlike Hyungwon who had the misfortune of passing the changing room in time to hear it. Who in turn hollered in at Minhyuk to stop practicing his dolphin out of the water. Changkyun knew better than to correct both of them that, that was definitely not dolphin even if the dolphins tended to respond to it. That was more a matter of correction and fondness he was certain. As he'd witnessed how enamored the dolphins were with the human. Still saying so wouldn't be very human either.

Instead he smiled, well more grimaced, and pretended that he was impressed. A useful skill he'd learned from his very first job as a human. Minhyuk took it with grace and smiled happily at him and went on about how the dolphins seemed to understand him. And once more Changkyun refrained from doing the inhuman thing, but this time because he couldn't bare to hurt Minhyuk anymore than the dolphins who responded could. 

A silence grew between them as they left the locker room and headed out. Walking together in part because they were headed the same way and in part because Changkyun wanted to. Though he wasn't sure what to do with humans after work, he'd never really tried to do anything too social before. But he wanted to try now. He wanted to spend as much time with Minhyuk as the other would allow. He was confident he'd figure it out, he'd survived so far. Granted he couldn't really die either. Being shaped like a human didn't change what he was.

A noise, loud and excited broke through his thoughts. It had his head swiveling towards Minhyuk, the source and back towards what he'd seen that made him squeal. Another human with dark hair, facing away from them and watching the jellyfish. “Jooheon!” Changkyun guessed that had to be the human's name as Minhyuk hollered it and ran up to him. Looking a bit over excited for such an encounter. It didn't excite him to watch the beautiful man he'd just met saddle up to this new human in the way Changkyun wanted to do to him. 

The man didn't look back at first, and when he did Changkyun almost took a step back. While he'd seemed competely amicable when Minhyuk stepped up to him he glared at Changkyun. His eyes were small and his face long, wearing a near scowl. It felt for a second like he'd been caught, not in his sudden onset of feelings but in his true secret. Then the face transformed, a smile taking over the near scowl and the eyes turned up in the same way. And his breath caught for the second time due to a human. His heart pounding for a reason different than slight jealously. In that moment he knew Monica was right. 

These were the someones that might make him want to stay. Both were smiling at him, warmly one with a bright smile trying to fight the sun the other with dimples big enough to swim in. Both with dark hair and much taller than himself. Both giving a feeling of warmth that made him want to bask in their glow and feed off their emotions. He'd never felt this way before, most merfolk never felt this way. Because there was no need. They didn't die, they didn't have need to mate, and they lived on the emotions they sucked off of others. But humans didn't, and in this moment he felt more human than he'd felt in his very, very long lifetime. 

He decided right then and there he'd do anything to be with them. To stay with them. Even if it was just for the rest of the day. But if he could he knew he'd make it last a lifetime, their lifetimes. Which was easy enough as Minhyuk invited him out with them to go tail shopping. Of course he eagerly agreed, Kihyun's old tail was fine for now but it wasn't comfortable. It didn't make him feel in his element in the least. Which was disconcerting considering how water was definitely his element. He hoped that didn't show as he made his way around the city with humans for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well next stop the beach. If the quality went down don't tell me. I don't want to know.


	4. The beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going to the beach. There are a few things that Changkyun needs to get off his chest, truths he can't keep in anymore. Even if it does mean that the ones he wants to be with can't accept him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I added an important tag. In this fic Changkyun is ace. I didn't set out planning to write him that way, he just is. That said I've never written anyone as ace before so if it's drastically off kilter please tell me. I'm demi myself so I think it's important to see characters like me, like yourself maybe. 
> 
> Still that said don't be afraid to call me out if I did misrepresent. I can only be what I am, but I can try to better understand what others are. And that's what I want to do through this and maybe through you. I'm always here for you too!

If there was one thing Changkyun had learned in the four months he'd been working at this new aquarium it was he wasn't as humanlike as he thought. A lesson he'd learned the hard way by observing them up close outside of work. Of course by being around Minhyuk as often as possible, enough so their coworkers asked if they were dating. His answer had been human enough if not entirely expected. He'd told Kihyun that he should mind his own dating life and see to Shownu. Which left him with a flushing Kihyun telling him to mind his own business. 

Honestly Changkyun felt someone needed to mind Kihyun's business as he certainly wasn't. At least not with all the pining he and Shownu were doing. Which had, according to Minhyuk, who had taught him the word pining to begin with, scared off previous employees. That wasn't something Changkyun could understand, but he understood pining enough to know Shownu and Kihyun weren't the only ones doing it. He’d seen another example in Hyungwon and Wonho. Who danced around each other in the same way Hyungwon danced around the slow moving turtles. 

There was another example too, one closer to home. Minhyuk, who had told him the word and what it meant when talking about Jooheon. In a way that was how Changkyun came to understand he was pining too. Only he also came to realize it was different, that his feelings were a bit different. While Minhyuk talked a bit excessively about Jooheon, and how much he wanted to be with him and definitely acted that way Changkyun felt that way about them both. Which in hindsight he was certain was the only reason he agreed to what they were about to do.

The beach stretched out before them and Changkyun cast a long look at Jooheon. Jooheon was there for the beach, Minhyuk was there for the job, and Changkyun was there for them. He wondered if he’d have agreed if he weren’t pining. Though he knew he should have, he wasn’t exactly going to find a merscale anywhere else. Except maybe one of the large enough lakes that housed a few, they weren’t as likely to feel enough sympathy for him to give up a scale though. And if he were being honest with himself, he’d missed the ocean. 

He’d missed it so much that the moment the ocean breeze had hit him, the scent of salt and water, and home he’d almost cried. He didn’t because he didn’t want his best friends to see it. Even though they’d definitely grown close, almost inseparable there were things he hadn’t told them, couldn’t tell them. At least not until he was sure. And his feelings towards them were somewhere in the middle of that list which was saying a lot considering how strongly he felt about them. 

Still the moment their feet touched the sand, heading towards the area they were paid to swim in Changkyun felt like breaking. He could feel the call of the ocean. Not just the breeze and the water that humans would go on and on about. Or the view, but a deep feeling in his chest that pulled at him. That called to him. It was more than a feeling but a physical need that made his knees weak. Not to mention being able to feel the ocean life nearby, their voices louder than ever in his mind as he stood closer to wild oceanic life than he had been in hundreds of years. 

“Are you okay?” The one to ask was Jooheon, concern written on his face and for a moment Changkyun almost gave in. Almost broke. But the face of the witch woman and all her reminders kept him in balance, kept him alive, and he couldn’t spit in the face of her memory. So instead of answering, not trusting his own words he nodded. Jooheon took the answer in the spirit it was given and shrugged at Minhyuk moving on. Changkyun knew they’d ask again. They were sweet like that and he wondered if one day he’d be able to tell them everything. 

Everything about how he wanted to spend every waking moment with them, to kissing them. Everything to who he was, what he was, to how he’d come to be. They were sweet enough he thought they might understand. They were human enough he wasn’t sure they would. Even among humans they fought over needless things about each other. From sexualities to opinions. Though he supposed that was the way humans were with all the emotions they carried. From their abundant need or desire for sex to their desire to procreate. Things he didn’t feel, though he supposed that was human enough.

That thought made everything a little easier, reminding himself how human he’d become. Well, not really but Changkyun knew how to hide what he was feeling. He’d been doing it for a very, very, very long time and now was no different. Not really. The witch woman had never really told him about human emotions and what to do with them, he’d just consumed enough to learn them on his own. Secretly of course just as he secretly while they were warming up swam off to be alone. He knew that the other two wouldn’t miss him the five minutes he was gone. Or twenty he judged from the way people had already started flocking at the first sign of their tails.

Changkyun’s was as close to his original tail as he could remember. With it being an ocean blue, scales that reflected white when held against the light in just the right way. It was perfect, and had cost him more than just a little money. Still he’d judged it worth the little bit of black magic he’d had to do to get it. Minhyuk and Jooheon both were floored by it and its lifelike quality in the water. Kihyun had only suggested if he got another one to make it more fantastical to draw in more children. Which was what today was all about.

It didn’t feel like work though, not really when they were told to swim freely in an ocean cove. Jooheon had been roped into a least carrying a sign for their aquarium advertising their mermen show. Shownu was also hoping with the publicity to snag a female performer. Changkyun doubted this show would do that but somehow, or maybe because he was there, they had attracted a real mermaid. He felt her before he saw her, out further than any of the humans dared to go without a surfboard. She called to him and he couldn’t help but answer. And thus he’d snuck off.

He didn’t recognize her, he didn’t need to. Most merpeople swam alone or in tight knit pods of no more than six. Or in rare instances there were a few that swam together as a couple, romantically or sexually inclined even though for their species there was no need. He could tell with one glance at her that she was solitary much like he had been. Though he didn’t think it was for the same reasons. Still, she was beautiful, maybe one of the most beautiful creatures that Changkyun had seen in hundreds of years. Though of course she was the embodiment of a home he couldn’t return to without her help. 

Convincing her of his plight, his need, and telling his story wasn’t even required. Conversations were but a trivial experience to ocean life who expressed their feelings, thoughts, and memories in pictures. She saw them all as she swam up, her touch was tender against his cheek. Her astonishment a feeling in the back of his neck. When she broke off the scale for him his heart broke with it. He had a choice now. He thought of what Monica had said. About his desire to stay and for the first time he truly felt it. Truly understood what it meant to long to be in two places. 

The mermaid didn’t ask him why, there was no reason. She could see it all. And her touch for it was fleeting, she understood, she knew what pining was. And he could see the human she pined for in her mind. A sailor that she’d rescued a long time ago. They’d died. She’d lived a very long time. And just for a moment they shared what it meant to be immortal, why they rarely loved, and why even with their purpose towards humans they often scorned them. Then she was gone, a memory on the foam as she swam away. A single tear slid down his cheek forming a pearl on the ocean floor. 

When he did return he found that both MInhyuk and Jooheon were in a tissy looking for him. Not because the show was starting but because they’d missed him. It made his heart squeeze. It made him realize that he wanted to tell them, that he had to tell them. That he didn’t want to leave them. That he couldn’t leave them without them knowing how he felt, who he was, what he was. If he told them and they couldn't accept he would just be disappearing because they couldn’t. But if they chose to accept him, he could always change his mind. He could always leave when their lives were fleeting.

At least that’s what he told himself putting the scale away in a safe place. It would be his salvation one day he was sure. Or he was reasonably sure before. Now, after meeting her, after feeling her sadness he wasn’t sure that he’d ever quite forget and move on. Her human had been dead a very long time, yet in her heart where love was rare she had never healed. He supposed it was only fitting that merpeople who were born in sadness would never move on from a taste of it. Still, he had to try. He resolved to tell them as he smiled at the audience that had gathered around them, waiting for their show.. 

After the show he knew he would tell them. Would risk it all. He knew that one way or another he would taste the sadness in the long run. One day, it was coming and there was no stopping it. Loving a mortal only had one ending. And he knew it, all merpeople knew it. Yet he’d gone and done it anyway. He only hoped they understood, that they accepted him and he could have at least a time with them. Truthfully he hoped for more but he knew, he knew there was only one way for a human to live forever. 

Minhyuk and Jooheon gave him funny looks when he sat them down upon the beach, the sun slowly sinking. The water too cold for a human to find tolerable, still he had yet to leave it. He honestly never wanted to leave it or the small life around him that begged him to stay. A frequent mer-visitor often kept large predators away for awhile. He understood their feelings their desires, understood them better than the things that Minhyuk said he wanted to do with Jooheon. But that wasn’t important, what was important was telling them. Still they gave him looks of concern as he sat in the water in a way he always had before. Half submerged and perfectly comfortable.

Humans bodies weren’t meant for it. Changkyun didn’t care, he’d take the cold and the soreness later for the comfort it offered now. It would also make a perfect escape should he decide to use the scale now. Swallowing thickly he hoped he wouldn’t need to as much he wished he could without what he was about to do. Every warning the witch woman ever gave him came to mind. And in this moment for the first time he wondered if she had seen this. If she had tried to save him from the inevitable pain of it. Or other moments like this one. She’d never told him what she saw in his future, only given him looks with sad, sad eyes.

“I have to confess.” The words were abrupt and didn’t fit the question of if he was cold that Minhyuk had just asked. He could tell from the way they looked at him. But he didn’t stop. “I have to confess some things to you both. I can’t keep pining like this. I can’t keep lying like this. Not to you.” He saw their eyes widen and noticed them look between each other, pink on their cheeks at the word pining. He wondered for a moment if they knew, but he couldn’t stop. “I fell in love with you both four months ago, I want to be with you always.”

The red on his face was perfectly human and Changkyun was used to the heat of embarrassment. It was one of his least favorite emotions. But it was useful, just as useful as their flustered response that gave him time to go on. “I know you’re in love with each other,” There was a little sputtering, a few looks, and a lot of arm waving but he ignored it. “I know you want to kiss each other and have sex. Well I want to kiss you both, so much that it hurts. Sex, well I don’t really want that but I want you to have it.” There were more protests before they both suddenly just looked at him. 

He understood, even among humans the human that didn’t want sex was rare. Not unheard of, but rare. He knew that even among merpeople wanting sex to just enjoy it was common. Still that wasn’t the point he was trying to make. Though he did want them to know that. It was important that they know all of him before he made his choice. In the sudden silence of his last words he came to the part he knew they wouldn’t be able to accept as easily. “I want to be with you. But I want to tell you everything, and everything is that I’m not human. I was never human.”

The looks they gave him were not a surprise. They were expected, disbelieving and he understood. Still, it took a lot for him to move forward to what he was admitting. “I am a merman. It’s why I’m so good at swimming. It’s why I was reluctant to come here, to come home where I can’t return. I was stung by a cursed jellyfish that changed me. I try so hard to be human but I wanted to go back. Then I met you, and now all I want is to be with you. To love you and be loved in return. To stay for you.” 

A silence descended that even the sound of the waves couldn't quite fill as it sat heavily above them. Changkyun had expected as much but the way it drug on made him want to turn tail and run. To give up, and just return to where he knew he belonged. But he knew he’d never feel like this again. He’d never have this chance again. So he waited, his feet going numb in the water as he sat there. Waiting. He held his breath, only remembering he needed to breathe when the oxygen ran out and it left him gasping for air and reaching for his neck.

In that moment Minhyuk and Jooheon both moved, into the water grabbing him. Checking him. Making sure he was alright. In that moment he could feel their feelings on the surface of their skin. Within reach to feed off, he wouldn’t. But he knew them. A touch of love, a lot of confusion, and more concern than they knew they felt. He wondered if it was because they thought he would leave them. “Sorry,” He smiled sheepishly at them as they pulled him from the water telling him not to scare them like that. “I forget I don’t have gills sometimes. Lungs are hard.” 

Minhyuk just looked at him when he said it and Jooheon took a step back. “You mean it.” The words were only a few beats from each other. Changkyun tried to look unabashed that they didn’t believe him. It hurt a little, of course, but he understood. He hadn’t believed in the legends of the jellyfish either, he’d learned the hard way. Just as they were probably going to learn with him. Still after that they both settled down a little more thinking about the mer issue more than the love issue. Love was always a harder topic to approach. Or Shownu and Kihyun and Hyungwon and Wonho would already be together. 

“I thought mermaids were just a fairytale?” Jooheon wasn’t looking at either of them when he said it but Changkyun knew what he was asking without asking. “It’s a lot to take in. How many of you are there? How have you stayed hidden? Where did you come from? A jellyfish? Maybe you should start from the beginning?” He suggested with a frown and Changkyun noticed Minhyuk nodding. He supposed it would be easier for them to understand if they knew more, humans were quite adaptable but they needed all the information they could have first. 

“I guess I’ll start there.” Changkyun smiled wistfully at the knowledge he’d been born with as all merpeople were. Information that humans were rarely able to wrap their head around because it was magic, he wondered if he was asking too much of them. He knew thought that he had to, or he had to leave. He couldn’t live a life of lies anymore. “Merpeople are currently living in many large bodies of water, we don’t interact with humans as much as we used to because humans hunted us.” They nodded along to his words, huddling up to each other, yet still close to him. Their knees were within touching distance of his tail. 

“We were born to help humans though, born with magic from the first tear of a widower, or loved one who had lost someone in the water. If the tear was cried over that body of water and fell into it and contained enough longing and sadness. Merpeople are born from the desire to see no one else suffer as they have.” Changkyun sighed at that, he’d saved one human boy once and after that he’d no longer felt the need to do so. He wondered if that was because merpeople rarely saw humans to begin with these days. Before accidents were common and now they were not. So even fewer merpeople were born. 

“That’s why there are so few merpeople now. We live unless we’re killed, which is very hard to do, but we aren’t born steadily.” Changkyun watched the understanding in their eyes. Wondering if they realized what he was saying, what he was truly saying. Still he pressed on. “Like the merpeople there are many wonders in the ocean. So many things humans have not discovered. So many even among my people there are legends, I ran into one. A jellyfish like crystal with a legend it would turn you human. I didn’t want to be human.” Changkyun felt the pain again as he admitted it, saw the pain on their faces. “You make me want to be human.” He felt the pain of that truth as well.

He was surprised when they didn’t say anything instead moving as one to hold him. To console him. He wondered if he’d get what he wanted, if he could be worthy enough of their love as a human. when he felt their lips on his cheeks, their soft whispers of his name he knew, he knew they would come to love him too. He knew that for a time they would be happy. At least he hoped for a time they would be happy. He’d do everything he could to see to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts always appreciated. <3
> 
> Next chapter is the end.


	5. Monica

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more like an epilogue, but it's still the ending.

Happiness is fleeting, that was something Changkyun knew well. Had always known well because he had to. As a merman happiness was an open ocean and no humans in sight. As a human happiness was wrapped up in the arms of his lovers, Minhyuk and Jooheon. Happiness was a mortal life lived the mortal way for as long as they would have, could have him. And so far it had been good. Many years had passed since that night on the beach and just as many memories. A revolving door of moments together. Happiness.

Changkyun had known it couldn’t, wouldn’t last. Age was coming and for a while he was able to ignore the creaks and kinks of human bodies aging. Overlook the wrinkles and new lines on their faces. Loving through the illnesses he didn't get but they did. Being there by their sides when the three of them took a leap into the future, decidedly looking down the barrel of time by moving in together. It wasn't easy and it took time for them to understand him, for him to understand them. For them to get closer than he'd ever be to any human. And with them he watched the others get closer.

Surprisingly he stood at Shownu and Kihyun's wedding, along with his own loves. For years when he was drunk on happiness Kihyun thanked Changkyun for pushing him to move. Not long after Hyungwon and Wonho finally realized how much better they were together, they had to move on. Minhyuk and Jooheon had chosen where they landed, where they'd live. It was by the ocean, and he wasn't sure who had done it, but the mermaid scale was put on display. A reminder of what he'd chosen, ever present in their cottage by the waves. A new home, broken in by their ever present love.

It was here that Minhyuk suggested they get bonded, really, truly bonded. Not just in marriage, but in soul so they could be together always. Changkyun had cried and they'd cuddled together for hours afterwards. Jooheon agreed and they were both convinced it was doable with magic. Which they'd come to accept watching Changkyun be himself with them, truly himself for the first since he'd become human. And they all agreed it was the right thing for them. Of course he knew what they were saying, what they were giving him. A reason to remain human, someone to pass the ages with. 

Of course he told them he wasn't sure it was possible. Always honest with them. But if anyone knew how he knew it would be Monica. The same witch woman who led him to a choice. She was harder to track down than he'd thought she'd be, with them having moved again to keep his secret. By the time he found her Jooheon was unable to make the flight and Minhyuk opted to stay with him. Changkyun understood, they'd aged. They were human. 

Monica though looked the same as the first time he'd seen her. He supposed so did he. They always would, witch women never aged physically past maturity and merpeople were forever young. She'd told him what he already knew, merpeople didn't have a soul to bind to. But she made a promise, a witch woman's promise, to find him when they passed and help him. Help him to find them again, and again. Forever if he so wished it, if only he'd give up the ocean. She'd be his constant companion through time, kept alive by the mermaid's flesh. Flesh that couldn't work for more than one. 

Unbeknownst to his lovers he took the deal. He made the promise to remain human, forever human for them. Bonding them just as they had asked so that each time they passed he could look forward to seeing them again. And Monica, kept her promise and came to help him the first time. Staying with him to help over, and over, and over again. And without doubt he knew he, they, could love forever with a witch woman on their side. Reawakening their memories and their love through the unconventional bond they'd formed. He still missed the ocean, but he wondered if the curse of the jellyfish was really a curse at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed the story, even if it went more than a little sideways. Thank you for reading 💖

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts appreciated but you probably will be more curious what the hell I'm doing, and like always I don't have an answer for that. 
> 
> OH but good news I'll be Dallas to see MX this year <3


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